The Ashes taunts begin
The usual sledging between the old rivals has begun in ernest, and the battle songs have started to echo in the stadiums.
Not surprisingly, the Aussies are stooping low from the start:
"There's the song for injured captain Michael Vaughan, set to the tune of Daydream Believer:
Cheer up Michael Vaughan,
How bad must it be,
To a be a poor pommie whinger,
And you're watching on TV?
But Livingstone seemed proudest of his song for Monty Panesar - a player routinely called "Monty Python" here down under.
Set to the tune of My Old Man's a Dustman, it goes something like this:
Monty Panesar's useless,
A poor old English chap,
And when he's not spin bowling,
No fan will ever clap.
He's useless in the covers,
He's useless in the slips,
And when he straps the pads on,
He'll pass out with the yips. "
Weak.
He's my suggestion for the Barmy Army, sung to the chorus of Queen's 'We Are the Champions':
We have the Ashes, and you don’t
We have the Ashes, and you don’t
We have the Ashes
We have the Ashes
We have the Ashes
And we have the Ashes
And you don’t.